Seeking Good Times.. not Hard Ones

ohhkay. it's been a hard weekend... till today actually. just received heavy news from the office. by the sound of it, the hard economic times are catching up on lil ol me. i suppose i should've expected that. life ain't supposed to be easy... especially now.

still, i am hoping for the best. i am still seeking good times. still looking for the silver lining amid shaky footing. i am hoping for the best.

it helps that i have my girlfriend with me. we'd gotten closer in the last few weeks. i guess it's getting serious. i still intend to bring her to Funtime Getaways though. if she can accept that side of me -- the fun-seeking and adventurous side -- she has me, all of me. and i don't know to seek anything more from a partner.

uh oh. did i just say that? good thing she doesn't read my blog. i don't want her freaking out just because i'm getting all serious about her.

i think it's just my mindset right now. with some threats lurking, i seek those who can comfort me. and i cling on them some more. i hope i don't get too clingy. that's a turn-off for me. it might be a turn-off for her too.

for now, let me just look forward to spending more time with her and maybe introducing her to my favorite people at Funtime Getaways. i have some worries, but let's forget that for now and focus. on love and a good future...

date place in Knoxville

ok, so this early on i am worrying about this. where do you take your girlfriend on Valentine's day? what's a good date place in Knoxville?

i am absolutely clueless about this. i've been seeing her for about two months now. we go on dates, yes. but our dates are the usual things that we like doing anyway, like eating chinese or barbecues, or watching movies and taking long walks in parks. that's the usual for us. and it's been really great!

so... what to do for Valentine's? a better question: how do i one-up myself? i'm already a romantic awesome boyfriend. LOL!

but seriously, any suggestions? and don't tell me Funtime Getaways. i will take her there to meet my friends but not on Valentines.

rainy and cold in Knoxville

i am not loving the weather right now. it's been raining raining and i'm freezing to death. i am not made for this weather. please, please, please... give me some sun and some heat. according to Weather.com, it's 42 degrees Fahrenheit out. with the rains, that's just too much for me. this'll be like bed weather, wherein i'd sleep in all day. to heck with work. to heck with errands.

of course, i cannot do that. with some pending projects' deadlines approaching, i gotta get my butt out of bed. damn.

i can't wait for spring. i am so looking forward to going outdoors without needing to wear restrictive clothing. and yes, if it's in any possible, i'd like to strip naked outside again. yooohooo! Funtime Getaway friends, where are you?! how ya all doing?!

good thing my girlfriend keeps me company after work. she has been around lately. just a couple of nights back, she made me chicken soup, asian style, which was pretty good. it was perfect for the weather.

oh well. need to turn in now. hopefully, weather will be better tomorrow.

Enter the Dragon! The Water Dragon that is...

Our eastern neighbors are celebrating the Chinese New Year. My girlfriend tells me that there's usually more pomp and lavishing at this time than during January 1.... that the lunar new year brings more bearing to one's luck and fortune so people should take heed.

i really don't know much about this but i'm not brushing it aside as some voodoo. i mean, who knows, right?

i'd tiger wood, actually lol! i always get a kick in saying that. i'm a wooden tiger. i saw a seer once and she told me that my missing element is water. now, i'm not sure what this will mean this 2012 -- if i'm finally going to be complete or if water will drown me with challenges. i don't know. i am hoping for the best. AND, i am not pinning everything on what the fortunes foretell. after all, success is 99% perspiration. i need to get my ass moving!

speaking of which, i cannot wait for spring to come in. this cold weather's getting to me. it doesn't inspire me to work on my 'beach body.' i miss camping out with my friends at Funtime Getaways. i miss actual warmth.. not the kind that the heater breathes out. oh well.

Kung Hey Fat Choi, everyone!

Extreme Makeover in Knoxville

a recent episode of Extreme Makeover featured a refurbished (or is 'rebuilt' a better word?) home in Knoxville. personally, i like the goodwill aspect here, wherein a show and its volunteers build a new home for those in need. what i am iffy about is other factors that play in after the fact.

owning a home is no joke. i've rented all my life and have not considered buying. it's an investment, sure... it also comes with a large overhead, especially for a couple with three kids. me, if i buy, i'd probably get a small cube and survive in it for a while. i can make do with whatever amenities it comes with (or does not come with). for a family of five, there isn't much flexibility. kids would need their own rooms, space, ample lighting for study and "all that." "all that" costs.

so, while my heart beamed when watching the excitement in the family's eyes, and the pride in the volunteers who helped build the home in just a week, i feel a tinge of worry. in the present economic environment, can the couple maintain such a home? i hope so. i wouldn't want them to join the ranks of makeover beneficiaries who ended up not being able to afford their own homes.

more music in Knoxville

well.. since we're off to a musical start, let me blog about that more.

playing the guitar is actually one of my frustrations. i've always wanted to learn to play the guitar. i even bought a real nice acoustic guitar and recruited this guitarist friend of mine to teach me. my friend's awesome with the guitar. he's lead in a defunct punk band. we'd spend weekend nights together. i paid him ten bucks and a six pack of beer whenever i came over. he thought me just fine. problem is that i didn't practice and i had stubs for fingers. i'd get the rhythm and beat right -- just not the notes lol. big problem.

i think this is why i think musical talent = genius. i think i'm smart enough for it but you still need a little something something extra to make any of this type of smarts. plus, you need a big heart and loads of extra time to practice.

i just have to be content with my having an ear for the good stuff. at least, i'm not one of those guys who'd buy into bieber or any of the shit pop music dishes out. and yes, i can sometimes be such a music snob. *hides from bieber fans

some of the things i'm happy about with Knoxville are Disc Exchange (used CDs for sale), and Lost and Found Records (remember John Cusack's High Fidelity? it's like that.)

With Disc Exchange, i can buy cheaper CDs, which beats illegally downloading them or buying a song at a time anytime. (i just believe that some thought was put in compiling the album. a thorough appreciation of a band entails listening to whole albums at a time, not just the more popular songs in it.)

With Lost and Found Records, i get to play music snob/geek.

there. that's me -- frustrated musician -- and my take on music in Knoxville.

back to school

this weekend was a bit different. my girlfriend and i went to the University of Tennessee, Knoxville. lived in Knoxville for a while now but i haven't really gone here. it took one curious girlfriend and the UT School of Music Faculty Chamber for me to go. no regrets, definitely.

i schooled in University of California, Santa Barbara and i like the open spaces that campuses usually have. UT Knoxville's is nice for a stroll. the atmosphere is very relaxing, fit for the honeymoon stage we're in.

we actually went there to see the UT School of Music Faculty Chamber Concert. i'm not big on classical music but i do like it when i hear it, especially when live. i've this awe of anyone who's good at playing a musical instrument. i think it's a kind of genius. i could be great with computers or words. i studied for this. but someone who's great with music, wow! you can study for it, yes, but it's also something inborn, i think. this stroke of genius that lets musicians evoke emotions with music. i actually have a friend who knows the key note just by listening to it. her ears (and arguably her heart) are that sensitive. again, wow! that night, we were treated to Debussy, Ewazen, and Walker. it was great!

systems overload

a new year, a new laptop. i'm going to miss my baby. we've only been together short of two years. oh well.

just after i got back, it seemed my best tech toy had had enough. i had it sleep one night. the next day, it no longer wanted to boot. i took it to the shop to have a look see at what's wrong. apparently, i've been an abusive owner. i kept it on for long periods without rest. i don't really clean it much lol. its internal fan had gathered dust and was so clogged it could no longer run. this resulted to my video chipset burning out -- hence, no visuals.

the shop -- Computer Depot over at West Knox -- said i can pay them to "burn in" a new chipset, sources unknown (to me, at least). this will take a couple of days of burning and testing. the guarantee was for only half a year... or i can but a new one. Computer Depot services and sells laptops...

so, my thinning wallet (from the holidays) is now a thousand bucks leaner. new laptop's working out fine but it's been a pain reinstalling all my software.

actually, i still can't over playing computer technician. yeah yeah, i work in IT. but i've never opened up a laptop before. i had to open my old one up to get the hard drive, just so i can retrieve my files. the real computer technician kept warning me: "be careful! don't drop that! you'll ruin your files!" i'm like, ok ok, i wish you'd just do this for me. got in my nerves lol!

New for 2012

have i told you that one of my New Year's resolutions is to cut down on my eating? i've been binge eating for about a month now and i need to stop. i'm putting on weight... and how many months more till summer? gotta build up my beach bod -- and yeah, sorry for my vanity here. if there's really one thing i take care about, it's my body. it's got to be good in and out.

anyway, having said that, i find out that Barberitos is opening up a branch in Knoxville. uh oh. one of my weaknesses when it comes to food is the combination: seasoned rice, salsa, and cheese. and i mean buckets of cheese. if something has cheese in it, i want it to be gooey cheesy. no subtle oh ah taste. i want cheese. tacos and burritos are particularly good for me. i can eat a whole bunch of them.

i tried Barberitos a couple of time when I was in Florida. they've got tacos and burritos = i love them!

anyway, i will make a trip or two at their Knoxville branch when it finally opens. i just hope i don't make a habit of it. it's normal for people to let loose some during the holidays but -- as i keep telling myself -- holidays are over. i need to shape up!

the New Year roundup

seems like the New Year fever isn't over yet. i am still on 2011 roundup mode at the office, as well as when i mull over my life (which i tend to do more during transitions like New Year's).

so where was i? several unfinished projects at work, a couple of them on-hold. i am feeling my way around, looking for some direction... or maybe a directive from the bosses on where to look. it's up in the air right now but it's alright. things do tend to feel aloft during the start of the year. i do hope i get to focus on what i need to focus on though. i'm all revved up to over-achieve this year. lol!

as for the rest, things seem to fall in place last year. i got a girl i really connect with on so many levels. we are having fun. i started this blog, which is fun too. i get to practice typing out actual words and phrases, instead of codes or meta content. it's a good outlet for me.

speaking of outlet, i also found Funtime Getaways this year and became a member. the nudist club has been a good outlet for me as i immerse myself into Knoxville life once again. i met a lot of good friends there. i will keep coming back into camp this 2012.

it was also great to reunite with my family for Christmas, and to meet my girlfriend's family before i left for San Francisco. i suppose i am getting into this deeper. i felt a strong sense of connection to family -- i already miss them. and my girlfriend has also brought me into hers and i felt most welcome. i guess as i get older, i lose this rebelliousness that i had when i was younger, when all i'd want to do is move out and go about my life on my own. i've realized that, above all else, family will always be there -- no matter how my life turned/turns out.

and so far, it has been a good life and i am grateful.

Happy 2012!

i feel good about the new year. i started it right, with my girl beside me. it was a quiet celebration. we had dinner and watched a fireworks presentation for a bit. then off to my place for some wine and love. i got a call from my parents and they are having fun, as well. everything's good.

now, i have some resolutions in mind. i know, we only make resolutions at the start of the year and most of them don't stick. but i'll make mine work. 2012 is my year and it'll be about living the life that i've always wanted.

first of all, i will definitely get out more. my IT job is desk-bound. as much as i love the job, i will need to cut down the amount of time i work. like they say: work smarter, not harder. good output does not have to take so much of my time. i will make this work.

i will probably spend a lot more time with my nudist club Funtime Getaways. i am seriously missing the folks there. to those with dirty thoughts on the goings-in in clubs like ours, stop. it is not like that. for most of my experience with the group, interactions have been respectful, engaging and fun. we go about everything in the nude, which is very liberating. and we engage in activities that we like, like outdoor baths, games, wine, and conversation. if you want a little something-something, that might be possible with others who are interested. after all, we are all mature adults. but otherwise, if it's just conversation and the outdoors -- it's a go.

i actually just let it hang and get to know the people in the club. they are some of the most diverse and interesting people i know in Knoxville. and it ceased to surprise me how nudists are from diverse backgrounds. i don't think i can think of a "cliche nudist" in the group. Funtime Getaways sifts through those who want to join first. in my case, i just had to go to several outings and prove i can be trusted. that's all.

that's why i have no qualms about bringing my girlfriend next time. i want her to explore this side of her. if she likes it, then great. if not, that's alright too. nudism's not for everyone.

anyway, here's to 2012! may it bring new joys and excitement in our lives!

New Year's Resolutions

i suppose i should come up with these again. it's that time of year. i actually always do come up with a list of sorts. i just keep on forgetting what my New Year's resolutions were. it just doesn't seem that important to do the list. i will eventually do what i want to do anyway, list or no list.

but i see a point to it though -- that's why i keep making it. it brings to fore hopes and wishes, and my flaws as a person. at least i see myself and am aware enough to try to change for the better. now, if i can get the discipline and the drive to actually affect some changes. that's a different story.

freedom has always been important to me. the freedom to move -- from SF, to Asia, and now back here in Knoxville TN. the freedom to choose a good satisfying life. i've been lucky. i know there are others unlike me.

which brings me back to my list. i WILL TRY my best to fulfill it. it's the least i can do.

catch me back here in 2012. or if you're in Knoxville, TN, hit me and we'll chill at the best bars and restaurants in town.

Happy New Year!

Christmas Stuffing

.. well, actually, there was no turkey during Christmas. our family had a traditional Asian Christmas treat, roasted pig. it was done Filipino style, a suckling stuffed with herbs and spices and roasted on an open fire pit. it was awesome!

and what can i say, i pigged out during yesterday's meals: a Christmas lunch and a Christmas dinner. must say, no matter how i've gotten it in my head to take it slow, i just can't help eating. the food's so good. very different from i usually come up with everyday. i mean, how can i feast on my usual sandwiches and salads? mom said it's about that i eat 'real food.' well, i wasn't about to argue with that.

i'm back in Knoxville by tomorrow. i'll resume some pending projects and prepare for new year. it'll just be a simple celebration, one-on-one as i prefer it with my girlfriend. i will cook dinner and buy wine. we'll wait for new year. then next day, it's the New Year's Day 5k, which should be good. it's off season as far as training goes so an easy 5k should jolt me back into good running form.

of course, it will also stop making me feel like the stuffed pig that i feel like right now lol!

Merry Christmas!

so... i'm flying out tonight to be with family in San Francisco. wish me luck. i am anticipating madness! traffic will surely be gridlock, filled with people who do last minute Christmas shopping. that would have included me if i weren't flying out. and every year when i'd do that, i'd ask myself "why, Matt, why? are you a Christmas virgin?!!"

in my 20 something years of needing to go out of my way to shop -- very different from my first 10 years when things were simple and all i needed to do was make a card -- i'd be one of those scrambling for stuff to buy. i get stuff back as gifts. and in the end, it's just all about stuff. *uh oh Matt's gearing up for another emo anti-commercial Christmas blog post LOL!

seriously, this Christmas is good and it's not because of the gifts i got (or will get). i had my Christmas dinner with my girlfriend. she loved the restaurant and the wine and the love. as gift, i gave her gym gloves (yes, how romantic). i spent a day with her family. we went ice skating and well, my butt still hurts. i think they like me. yes!

i also came out to my girlfriend -- that i was a nudist and is a member of Funtime Getaways. she was so cool with it and i'm relieved. it's a simple lifestyle preference and still i sometimes feel i may receive some negative feedback about it. i can only imagine what gay people feel when coming out about their sexuality. my nudist preference should pale in comparison. anyway, i'm happy my gf's so cool. when the season's good and it's not too nippy out, i'd probably bring her to camp....

Christmas Ham in Tennessee

i have one assignment for my Christmas meal with my family in San Francisco, that's to bring the Christmas ham. folks there have heard about Benton's Hams, which is legendary in Knoxville, and the whole of Tennessee for that matter. i've read that even top chefs in New York use Benton's Hams to highlight their signature dishes. me, i just love to eat it, as is, or maybe with a side dish or two. if i ever use these hams to top soups and all those, i'd just end up overtopping them lol.

so.. farmer's market last weekend and it's all ready. awful hard fighting the smell though. through the box, from the ride to the market to home, i can smell the smoked meat. it's overpower and tempting the hell out of me. i'd to summon my utmost self-control to resist feasting on it.

the downside with these Benton's Hams though is the salt. i'm sensitive to salt and normally don't want too much of it on my food. it's just that with the hams, the goodness overcomes me and i eat. i just suffer from the salt after. oh well.

people do tend to let go a bit during the holidays anyway. i'm sure by january, i'd be scrambling to get rid of what came off my excesses. i don't mind. i like the challenge.... except for this ham in here. i'm toughing it out... i can do this! i can do this!

Holiday Panic

ohhhkay. how many of you are in a state of panic? (i just raised both hands and feet) gaaahhh! why does this season have to be about buying?! the least thing i'd like to do is shop. if i can find a place where all i need is in one spot -- in color variations that i'd like -- i'd be a happy man. if you can throw in a complimentary massage with that, great!

it is so stressful just preparing for christmas. i had a great plan yesterday for my girlfriend and i. that's still a go. at least i remembered to book our dinner. it's a table near the toilet but that's better than nothing. the pièce de résistance is at home: pretty steep priced (for me) bottle of red wine. and yeah, i booked the flowers too. who would've thought prices would double?

anyway, it's the thought, right?

it's the thought... and it's the traffic, and the jumping around from mall to mall just to get the best gift. like i said, i'm not much of a shopper but i did go out of my way to walk around ALL of West Town Mall and Turkey Creek. that was for two straight days and it felt worse than my Cross Fit training. i am tired. i maxed out my credit card.

upside: i'm done shopping

Girlfriend Christmas Gift

is it bad that i had to go online to look up 'girlfriend gift ideas' just so i get some idea what to get my girlfriend this christmas? *ducks from flying grandma panties and cookware

so... scouring the web, look at what i found:
1. WineRack Sports Bra: how awesome is that?! no more boring movie dates! or boring wait at the doctor's office! winerack on her rack! lol!

2. Science Quiz Clock: yes, oddly, this falls under girlfriend gift ideas. i'm quite surprised. isn't this a gift for those who are not likely to have girlfriends? or those who'd rather fall asleep when they have girlfriends right beside them? or whatever. don't know where i'm going with this and i'm actually interested in getting one for myself.

3. I Can't Promise Sign: or how about this? it's actually quite nice when you read it. initial impression though isn't. it doesn't help that the font size is quite small.

of course, i may not be looking at the best online gift shop. it's on google's first page so kudos to their seo efforts.

but seriously, here's my plan. since i won't be spending christmas day with her, i will have the 23rd, friday, as our christmas date.
-- flowers from The Flower Pot
-- dinner at Nama Sushi Bar
-- and a bottle of L'Ecole No 41 Columbia Valley Merlot 2006 from Turkey Creek Wine and Spirits at my place

Now how about that?!

Knoxville Christmas Shopping

don't know about you but i feel like Christmas is about to run me over. it's just 10 days away. people are shopping. people are busy. it's beginning to get clogged on the streets. and i'm here, waiting till the last minute, unmoving. deer, headlights. uh oh.

i will be spending a few days in Knoxville with my girlfriend and her family, and then i'll fly off to spend christmas day with my family in SF. the only thing i've done to prepare for this is book my tickets with American Airlines. that's it. no gifts. nothing packed yet. i don't think i've even filed for a holiday leave yet.

and yes, this is my season to not get excited about the season. something about it absolutely kills it. all that shopping, all that frenzy. and what for? i bet we've forgotten what for.

remember the incidents during thanksgiving where shoppers peppersprayed other shoppers because they want to get to the "stuff" first? it's thanksgiving for pete's sake! and christmas -- i bet there'd be similar incidents. the spirit of it all is lost in this highly consumerist society.

and yeah, i still have no idea what to get my folks, and my bro who i'll be getting together with for the first time after years. i want to give them the best -- and something they'd really appreciate. ideas anyone?

check this out: Christmas Shopping Tips from a Pro. no matter how many times i'd read something like this, i'm still lost.

maybe online shopping's the best way to go. Here? then maybe have it delivered to SF. hmmmmmmmmm hmmm hmmm

Knoxville Holidays on Ice

yes, i'm still on that... Knoxville Holidays on Ice with my girlfriend of one month's folks. i'm not sure it's the best idea. would appreciate other suggestion.

you see, they're Asian migrants who lived and stayed in Hawaii for two decades. this is one of the few times they are visiting mainland US, just to be with their daughter for Christmas. and guess who's coming along? her hairy white dude boyfriend...

i'm not really built for ice; or gliding on ice, to be more precise. i spent a good amount of my adult years in california where it's sunny and there's no ice to glide on. i did my gliding on shiny marble floors, looking at stuff i can't afford. lol.

i can imagine myself falling on my ass several times during this proposed trip. i've warned my girlfriend about this. it would be one of the most humiliating 1st impressions ever. imagine if they will actually become my parents-in-law (not that i'm thinking about it).

anyway... i'm still trying to keep things cool. hey, maybe the Knoxville Holidays on Ice isn't such a bad idea. ice=cool? yeah, right. it'd be great if i can just bring them to Funtime Getaways with me. i haven't even brought my girlfriend yet... (and we are not yet exclusive anyway.... or so i think.)

Christmas in Knoxville

Ohhhkay... it's been a while. it just got so crazy-busy at the office, as well as my 'real' life that i haven't had the time to check. even my facebook friends have been popping up on my wall, wondering if i'm still alive lol!

the busy is a good kind of busy. work's work and it's great. i've also been dating that girl from the gym, D. it's getting a bit serious and i'm going with the flow. not sure if this is what i want or not but i am enjoying the company. she is a lot of fun, and we connect on so many levels.

her parents are coming over for Christmas, which is kinda what's freaking me out. wow, it's that serious, eh? i'm meeting her parents!

it's a big step for me. it's only been about a month of dating so... but, fingers crossed, i'll get through it without panicking and doing what i'm apt to do, which is begin fighting with her and ending what's only beginning. i just have to stay cool.

it's only a day, anyway, right? i've actually began to research on some stuff to do for that day. I'm thinking Holiday on Ice, which seems a bit off for seniors but hey, they're from Hawaii. they might enjoy some ice. and then a stroll through the Holiday Festival of Lights at The Cove at Concord Park. Dinner will probably be at Calhoun's On The River (where else?!)... i'm tempted to go Chinese since they are 2nd generation Chinese but it just makes them harder to please, i guess.

wish me luck! (mostly about me keeping my cool lol!)